friendships: the super fuel for getting things done

As managers, we employ others to help us get things done.

That might seem like stating the bleeding obvious, but it does surprise us how often we see managers putting up barriers to getting things done.  One such barrier is the idea that your work colleagues can't be your friends. 

Especially when we first become a manager, we may feel the need to distance ourselves from our former colleagues.  Now that we're the boss, we have to put our responsibilities ahead of our mates, don't we?

Change Agents, let's take that on!

We all spend a big chunk of our life at work so it's worthwhile to consider the quality of that experience.  For ourselves, and those with whom we share our work-space.

WHY WE SHOULD ENCOURAGE FRIENDSHIPS AT WORK

1. Friends don't gossip!  Gossip flourishes when people feel no friendship between themselves and the person they are gossiping about.  Otherwise, instead of gossiping about another person we would actually be expressing concern for them, happiness for them, or expressing our desire to improve things for them.   It's so easy to gossip about a distant person.  It is much harder to gossip about a person when we know they are our friend, or the friend of those with whom we are gossiping.  Ooh, that's embarrassing.
2. Friends like to solve problems together.  When we're with friends we can be open about challenges and opportunities.  We can openly engage with them to explore, discover, share, and collaborate.  It's enjoyable to share our curiosity with friends.  It's safe to banter and explore even the wildest of ideas.
3. People are social beings that think. Let that sink in.  Embrace it. Social connections are really important to us.  When we prioritise tasks ahead of the social connection, we create negative stress, anxiety, tension, and mistrust.  Those are, most often, the very things that become barriers to productivity, rather than enablers of it.
4. Friends look after, and out for, each other.  At the end of the party, your closest friends stay behind and help to clean up (or, they at least offer to!).  They like to help you out.  Conversely, when things go wrong, it is so much easier to go looking for someone to blame when there is no friendship to burn or connection to lose.
5.  People know when to be serious.  Being friends at work doesn't mean that people will just be mucking around.  When necessary, friends can - and will - intervene to create the focus that's needed.  Friendships at work do not have to be at the expense of performance.  People want to take pride in their work, and it is even more fulfilling to share success with your mates, and to celebrate with them.
6. Friends know how to disagree with each other.  We don't always agree with our friends.  We respect that our friends have different points of view, and because we put the friendship first, we are able to carry on and celebrate the things that we do agree on, rather than focus on the things we don't agree on.

Do you have other points to add to this list?  Why not discuss your ideas with your friends?  

If you're the manager of a team, then we ask, "what are you doing to build the friendships between the members of your team?"  

If you're serious about productivity, then it is a lot easier to get things done through people who are friends with you and each other than it is to get things done through people who are defensive, wary, unwilling to share, or who feel unsafe to collaborate.

​Building friendships is a far more powerful contributor to productivity than creating fear; and it is a much more natural, engaging, and enjoyable way to work.

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